It was the fifth GP I saw this year.
As I was leaving the apartment, A wished me good luck. I told her if this one still doesn’t work, I would really give up. Really, give up.
The wait was outrageously long—for an hour and a half I just sat there at the clinic, slowly losing my patience, dissociating.
When I saw the doctor I immediately noticed his softness and patience. I already felt a lot better compared to last ones.
Day 2 Getting sodium valproate
Well, we will wait until it works?
Day 3 Waking up disoriented…
But I don’t think it was the meds… it would more likely to be caused by low blood sugar and the intense conversation I had yesterday.
Day 4 Donating plasma while on the meds
Good that on this drug does not make one ineligible for plasma donation.
Day 5 Forgot to increase the dose
Just remembered that every three days I should increase the dose. But until today I am still only taking one tablet per day.
I haven’t experienced any side effects—touch wood. I think my confusing appetite is due to my menstrual cycle rather than the meds.
Still waking up at 4am, getting less than 5 hours‘ sleep. I know I’m in the mania phase. I’m glad that I was convinced to tackle this with the hep of science.
Day 6 Two tabs a day starting tonight
Then on the 8th, Wednesday it should increase to 3 pills a day.
Day 7 Is this side effect or not?
My appetite is mad right now. I have been eating so much. I can’t tell whether I’m experiencing the side effects or this is just part of my mania phase.
I also am not sure if I’m experiencing this cognitive disorder or not. I swear something was different with a student’s hair, but she insisted that she always wore her hair that way. I got so confused.
I am very sure that I am still in the mania phase, for how little sleep I am getting and how talkative I have been. Luckily today I was with the right people: Supervisor and N — I didn’t have to worry about regretting what I have said.
Day 8 Not yet any improvement in my mental state
Although today I feel extremely sad, depressed and exhausted, I do not think I am out of the mania phase. It was just that the high of yesterday was too high I necessarily am expressing the low tide today. The unfortunate lack of sleep and waking up from an emotional dream was not helpful. I cried myself to waking up. I still want to cry as I still feel the sadness lingering. I really wonder what this meds would do and hope it could actually help me feel better.
Only took 2 pills today. Tomorrow I’ll take 3.
Day 9 No expectations
Day 11 Glad that I have no expectations
Because I experience no improvement/difference in my mood so far. Still easily triggered and agitated, highly irritable. Still much bothered by dreams.
All of sudden I’ve lost my appetite. Weird. Even just until yesterday, for the whole week I’ve been feeling hungry a lot and craved for food.
Day 12 Side effects
Acute abdominal pain. Nausea was so bad I almost faint at Coles while doing my groceries. I felt hungry and dizzy, yet had no appetite.
Day 17 Do I feel calmer? Less triggered?
Since I’m in my depressive phase, I feel so tired, constantly drained. I wake up feeling very disoriented, not being able to comprehend things. Though I do not know whether it was because of this drug, or my devastating dream.
Day 23 Seeing new psychiatrist and getting lithium
The psychiatrist was very helpful and I think he is bipolar himself. He explained things very clearly to me and I found it very helpful. I feel even somewhat hopeful.
I think I will drop sodium valproate for its side effects and lack of actual effects on my mood.
Day 26 Interactions between lithium and NSAID
I’m experiencing the neglect as a womb bearing person.
Despite that I informed both my GP and psychiatrist that I experience really bad period cramps and I have persistent lower back pain, they still didn’t mention how NSAID significantly increases the lithium level in the blood and can cause lithium toxicity. They warned told me multiple times that I shouldn’t get pregnant while getting medicated by these meds though.
Luckily I’m not on my period right now and my medical literacy is just enough for me to pay some attention to this and didn’t take any NSAID in the past few days.
The change in taste—things taste a lot blander—and ringing in the ears are definitely happening. Makes me very interested in how different metallic salt interferes with human bodies, prompted me to look it up.
Day 27 Drowsiness
I really struggle to stay awake.
The binge eating that happened after I stopped sodium valproate had me vomiting for a few times, which trigged my immune system to attack my thyroid quite vigorously. Now I feel all the symptoms of hypothyroidism.
Day 29 Blood test
Apparently for Han Chinese there’s a special gene that needs to be tested for before certain medication is prescribed, eg DHM-HLAB1502. And it is not covered by the medicare.
Day 31 Endometriosis
Mentioned my period pain to Dr DS, didn’t really find a solution except for just use the NSAID for now (since the impact is usually only a long-term worry). He suggested diagnosis for endometriosis.
TSH has increased, FT3 has dropped. Bad signs. And the blood test was taken on the day I was already feeling better.
| name | value |
| location | Melbourne |
| date | 2025-10-01 |
| dateFormat | dd-mmm-yyyy |