Nuts [1]
Glazed: $25. Good, solid, donut. Kinda preciously what you are looking for when you’re thinking your standard good donut, but to really put it through the paces, need to microwave it and dunk in cold milk. Maple Glazed: $28. Disappointing. Not enough maple flavor to warrant the extra price and not consistently glazed enough to stand up against the glazed. Chocolate Ganache: $29. Smooth, thick chocolate without being too sweet or bitter, not a milk chocolate. Ganache still had a moist, soft consistency even after being out for a while. Wish it had cream filling but still, it does one thing and does it well. Vanilla Custard: $31. A joke. No flavor in the cream and the only thing the powdered sugar added was an unfashionable pattern to my shirt.
Experience: Up, up, up the hill and hard to find. Walked past the place thrice. Pleasant staff that were a delight but no menu or signs of any sort, which if I have to have a dialogue song and dance in order to know what is available and prices, you’ve failed.
—- Cookie Vision: [1]
Line wrapped around three corners of the building. Maybe a surprise collaboration with Swatch?
—- 7/11 [5]
Water: $10. 10/10 exactly what I needed at the price I expected.
—- Sourdough [2]
Pistachio Brioche: $28. Light fluffy bread, light pistachio, full cream. Surprised by the little candied(?) Pistaches. A nice experience Hazelnut Brioche: $28. Same as Pistachio but lacking hazelnut flavor. Just cream and puff. Raspberry Feuilletine Basket: $30 Double Chocolate Cookie: $18. Strange mix of dry crisp cookie and thick melted fudge like chocolate. Very mixed textual experience. The dough was almost like a stiff chocolate meringue. $28. Subway does it better and if subway has your outclassed, rethink your priorities. Almond Sour Dough Croissant: The nutty flavor overpowered the sour dough and if I can't taste the signature of what THE STORE IS NAMED AFTER, YA DONE GOOFED. WHAT EVEN IS THE POINT?!?!?! Nice flaky crust and soft, chewy, slight undercooked center. Good texture.
Experience: Too much paper products. Every pastry was boxed individually and we had 5 items, split between two separate paper bags. And we ate in the restaurant. Also fumbled a conversation with a pastor(?) who had snuck behind the counter. Note to self, do not wear recognizable masks.
Flash Coffee [5]
Lychee Expresso Soda: $47. Not enough lychee, not enough ice, not enough fizz. Nice portions though. I'd recommend the Avocado Latte, if you had to go. A nice fatty smoothness, like cream of mushroom but tasting like coffee and gentrification.
Experience: You ever stare at the sun and get a sunspot burned into your retina? What if that but for a color? Also, what’s your opinion on the color Heinz Mustard Yellow?
-- Wan Chai park. [3]
$0. All the tables were taken and the cops showed up. Good dancing though. Recommend having a lookout on the second floor and having a plan of escape.
Tai Hung Garden: [3]
$0. Nice, spacious, with ample seating and the best view of children and dogs interacting. You ever see a child drap his arm across his best friend, a puppy, as they riding shotgun in a stroller? The platonic ideal of “ride or die bitches” Let me tell you, my stomach was full from all the food but this sight filled my heart to the brim. Minus points for dog poop and the drunk guy who turned his back on his family.
Oola: [4]
$573. Great seasoned chicken season, smokey and juicy. Nachos with spiced tomatoes and popcorn flavored chips. Sad shark coochie board of weird cheeses and the most pathetical pickle I have ever had. Cool folks though and cool conversation though. Learned forbidden handholding techniques.
— MLA Citations [1] Kadow, Jordan, and Vincent Fung. “Vincent Fung's Unfiltered Opinion.” 27 Mar. 2022. [2] Kadow, Jordan, and Michelle Chin. “Michelle Chin: The Woman, The Myth, The Legend.” 27 Mar. 2022. [3] Kadow, Jordan, et al. “Faffing A Boot.” 27 Mar. 2022. [4] Kadow, Jordan, et al. “Handholding Degenerates and Loving Mothers.” 27 Mar. 2022. [5] Received by Jordan Kadow, Dude, Just Trust Me, 27 Mar. 2022.